Can One Feel It When One Loses Her Mind?

A physical feeling, it is — when a dull heaviness descends on something
inside the skull. It comes uninvited somewhere near the top of the brain and seems connected somewhere at the back of the neck to a dull pain that hugs the head. A bit of nausea. See info about neurofeedback research.

The “thing” that brings this on is usually a thought of something, maybe it’s a duty — at least a responsibility — that begs to be DONE. The notion of prioritizing it is ridiculous. It is a physical onus put on the brain and all connected to the brain to do something NOW, along with a strong sense of warning that it is so important it demands action right away. It’s like panic!

How is this related to fear, I wonder? I am, indeed, afraid of forgetting these days. The “ditzier” I get the more my inner critic says “You’re losing it, Susan.”

And the more I feel as if I am dying. After all I’m 81.

And the realization is so heavy — weighted with a fear that I really am losing my mind.

My mind tells me I am losing my mind.

Age does this, informative geriatric books tell us.
Well, my body is aging on the outside, so why should it surprise me that the inside is getting sloppy and un-tuned?

I really like truth. Truth is the bottom line, always, it turns out. My mind still asserts that truth is what stays strong.

Truth be told, as they say, my mind is operating sputteringly today…like a car that needs tuning or needs new spark plugs.

I am just wondering whether my mind is right about the feelings that my mind is sputtering.

Should I believe my mind?

SGH © early March, 2019

I think it was Irving Petite who said that most things fix themselves if you leave them alone.