Reaching for the Finish Line?

Susan G Holland
3 min readDec 26, 2022

© SGHolland 2022

Edges are so unpredictable!

The edges in the above photo (© sgholland) are compound, if you
count things like 1. the bunny tracks in the snow. Or 2. the trunkless trees.
(Who knows whether those bunny tracks led to some sort of “edge”; maybe a nibble of a weed, or maybe a jump into the afterlife. I do not see coyote tracks, I am glad to say.)

Who knows exactly when a person becomes “old?” I thought I did some years ago when I battled through a really tough part of my life. I was ready, I thought. But I was wrong about that.
Recently life got “edgy” when I chose to have a chancy but necessary surgery on my brain! I didn’t die any of these times. They all “felt edgy” at the time, though.

There has always been tomorrow. Still is!

I’m back near my children in the part of the world where most
of their lives has been spent: the Puget Sound corner of the Pacific Northwest.

I am here to find a place to hide out while I get from 85 to whenever my life is scheduled to end. (Like I found out earlier — I don’t get to choose.)

My three children live near Seattle at this time, and so are their grown children. (Except some are in Ohio for Christmas. And my eldest is
contemplating moving to Texas!! That’s an edgy move to contemplate!!

My designated life companion is closing up things in New Mexico, and is definitely far away right now. Once I find my new place in Seattle, he will help me move in, deliver my Service Cat and set things up so he has room to visit me.

It’s “Old Age” that is happening. For both of us. His family members still
live in Pennsylvania, where he and I both grew up. He will find a place
there to rent so he can be near his own family. I will visit him there. Re-aligning is not a new thing to us. We became unaligned in about 1960
when we changed our plans to get married. Sixty years later, in 2017, we found ourselves widowed, and became a loving couple again. But we are getting
old and forgetful and needing to be near family.We will arise and go now to our separate The Lake Isles of Innisfree where we will each make a place to rest now. Together here in Seattle and and there in Pennsylvania . Sometimes. And we will each be near our children who will help us over the edges of End of Life. Apart, together! And we will fly across the USA for visits, being the loving couple that we still are now.

W. B. Yeats — 1865–1939

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee;
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.

This poem is in the public domain.



Susan G Holland

Hacked too often here on Medium; and here I trusted it all these years! Beware!